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milkyway,
I'm at times in the same boat your guy. Let me tell you about my reasons why my drive can be down.
1) The stress of providing for a family of 5.
2) Trying to be a good dad to my son and 2 daughters is emotionally taxing.
3) My SO is in a Master Program at a local University and her focus and mine are not in the same direction currently. And I can only handle reading and talking about the philosophical nature of sociology and education for so long until I fall asleep after being on the go from 6am to 9pm either working or cooking and cleaning to pick up the slack from her needing to study (she watches the kids during the day).
4) I don't care for quick, casual sex. I prefer it to be 'gourmet'. My SO is multi-orgasmic, and I feel the 'need' to help her orgasm at least 8 times in a session, at about this point I notice her satisfied state begins. This is probably wrong of me to feel this way, but it is what it is. But her response really hits my personality well, as I love to please her.
5) I like to connect emotionally and energetically with my SO. And I cannot do that quickly or easily without having spent sometime just holding her or resting my hand on her back or hip or head. It is really quite fulfilling.
Regarding the low testosterone. Men move in cycles with their testosterone. My Dr. told me it was normal for a man to swing from the high to low end of the scale throughout the year. In the last 12 months, I've swung the full range for Testosterone, and when it is low, it does no good to harp on the man. That feeling of unhappiness isn't helpful for a man at all.
- M
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