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Originally Posted by levite
For Biblical and Talmudic Judaism, the issue with female virginity was not moral, but financial: in ancient Near Eastern society, a virgin commanded a higher bride-price than a non-virgin, and males in that society tended to fetishize virginity. The Bible and the Talmud are primarily concerned that a non-virgin might misrepresent herself as a virgin, thus swindling a husband out of a bride-price to which she is not legally entitled. Morality was not the primary issue for women's virginity, and there was no expectation that a man be a virgin until his marriage in Judaism-- not until the modern era and the advent of post-Enlightenment Orthodoxy.
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Is virginity still considered to be quite important in Israeli society, Levite? I found your summary to be pretty interesting, since the whole obsession with female virginity (to fetch a higher bride-price, or at least a higher-status male on the social totem pole) seems to still be pretty prominent in much of the Middle East.
Spending some time in Lebanon (a relatively liberal country) and around ktspktsp's family, I realize that if I had been Lebanese and met him there, I would most likely not have been allowed to spend nights with him until we got married--even though his parents are quite liberal. Perhaps they would have been more relaxed because it was their son, rather than their daughter, wanting to spend nights with a significant other (an annoying double standard)--but I still don't think it would have been encouraged. Even when I came to stay with them for 2 weeks (long before we were married), I was not "introduced" to the rest of the family, and I don't think my stay there was made very public... even though I was an American and not subject to their cultural rules, in that sense. Virginity still seems to be very important there, especially for women--and not as a moral issue at all, but a financial/marriage/social one, and something that they are quite concerned about for their daughter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dlish
see.. i knew abaya would put some sense into it
mod or not.. you're always insightful
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Thanks, dlish, I appreciate that.
Btw, I'd be interested to hear your take on the Lebanese aspect of this, as well. Did you meet your wife in Australia? How did the courtship period go between your families? (Are either of you religious?)