Cynthetiq

There has been alot of things going on in my life. I've always said, "If life is hard, be harder." It pays off more often then not in most things in life. It pays off in spades when there is a clear winner and a clear loser.

This past week, I have been reflecting on a situation that I let get out of hand and I let something get personal and I lost my even footing. I lost my cool and flamed a member of the community in public. I went over it in my head like I do when I'm being "harder" and as part of the mantra I justified it to myself to believe what I did was right and just.

It was not.

In this whole fiasco there is more than a winner and a loser in the discussion, the staff and the community who stood by watching it unfold was the loser.

I have wrestled with an email for almost a week, with nothing to say. I thought originally it is because confronting my adversary would give him position and quarter. I come to realize that I was having a hard time writing it because I was just flat out wrong in my behavior. I couldn't write what I wanted to because what I needed to write was an apology for my behavior. Had I not crossed that line, I could have easily written a response email as words and ideas would have flowed from my fingers.

I have always believed that leaders that are so prolific that they are bigger than life are just as tall as you or me. They put on their pants just like I do. They also make mistakes just like you or I do.

I don't tolerate it from staff, and I should have held myself to the same standard. I let myself, the staff, and the rest of the community down. I'm sorry I won't let it happen again.

There are lots of changes afoot here at TFP, this should kind of behavior not have been one of them.

cynthetiq

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.