ItWasMe

Oh, gawd...yes, I have. You really want to hear this? *blushing*

I won't tell you how many years ago it was, except that I was young, and it was well over two decades ago. My friend wanted to show me this shop she'd found. She said they had some really interesting things. So when we walked in, I was expecting...I don't know... an odd souvenier shop?? ... it went something like this...

We were browsing the aisles, and my friend was showing me these small vials of scented oils. I saw handcuffs and such and thought they were odd souveniers. My friend looked at me like I'd just grown another head. The front of the store looked a little like Valentine's Day with fluffy heart pillows, chocolates, etc. It didn't look like a sex shop, except for the shelves at the back of the store.

Then the sales lady came over. She picked up "something" they had on special. She squeased some of it onto her hand and rubbed it between her fingers. She explained that this one is greaseless, odorless, colorless, and tasteless. I nodded and smiled politely, wondering what the point was. I finally asked her,

"so this is totally tasteless?"
"totally" (okay, you got me, it was in the 80's)
"huh" *I was actually wondering what the hell it was for; the front of the shop was so discreet, I hadn't yet figured out it was a sex shop.*
The sales lady stepped up her speech, now that she had my interest.
"it's totally edible. you can eat it." she said.

The sales lady followed us to the back of the store, and was mortified at what was on the shelf. Now I knew what a penis looked like, but had never seen a fake one. I didn't even know they made them that size. It dawned on me ...omigod...I am in a friggin sex shoppe, not a Valentine's shop. And my husband is not very well endowed!

I made the mistake of saying "wow"

"Yes," the sales lady said as she reached for the penis shaped dildo. "And this one vibrates. Let me demonstrate..."

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe