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i'll come back to this later, comrade baraka--but by initial response to the piece was to wonder why the line breaks.
i use them alot in my journal as a kind of device to make it easier for multiple meanings to remain in play--sentences tend to render univocal--so even though the actual placement is intuitive, in general there's a system. plus i see that i am doing as prose.
here i kept thinking that there don't need to be line breaks, that it works well as a prose-poem.
the only trade-off i can see is that it would maybe compromise the twist-ending. but not necessarily.
i'll play around with this later.
it's a nice piece though---keep going with it.
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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear
it make you sick.
-kamau brathwaite
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