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Milkyway, My sense is that you two may have a power struggle going on. You're trying to be the sexual controller, and he's trying to deal with his self image of being the man who is the more sexually eager, and the reality of a wife who's never satisfied (for long). You've mentioned getting a girlfriend a few times. He could also be feeling like he can't satisfy your needs, even if he did give you a daily hot session, because you'd still have a desire for a female sometimes.
Nothing gets a man out of the mood more than feeling overwhelmed and/or powerless. Power struggles in marriage tend to get reflected in the sex lives of the couple. The one power he truly has is the power to be unwilling. Traditionally, wives used this power to make their hubbies beg for it, and buy them diamonds, etc. Now that women have become sexually empowered by the liberation movement, many women are a little bosy, or demanding, sexually.
I'm not saying that men don't wish their wives would initiate more equally often, since many do wish that. But the sexually hungry woman has an energy that can be intimidating to a man. That seems to describe the situation you face. So I'm suspecting that you may be intimidating your husband with your needyness, or your sexual demandingness.
Yes, back pain can be a huge arousal killer to. Feeling like he's flabby and his wife is a hottie can make him feel unworthy of her. Worries about his work, or his job stability, can make him feel small to.
I don't know what it is, but I'm recommending you give some thought to what might be intimidating him. And maybe do some things to help him feel sexually powerful relative to you. I could suggest laying over his lap for a spanking. Or offering to be his sex slave for a weekend, especially if you could leave the kids with their grandparents that weekend. You might want to find ways to let him have a little larger share of the power in your relationship, and see if that helps.
Good luck.
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