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Originally Posted by Milkyway
Hi, I have been with the same guy for 13 years, the last 7 of which we have been married.
Before we got married we had sex like animals every time we saw each other, which was one long sex fest weekend every month, due to going to different colleges.
After we got married, it was obviously more often and we were both very busy starting our careers which was our main focus, I guess.
As time has gone on I miss it more and more, anywhere from once a week to 3 times on a good week is what we are running now.
I want more! What is wrong with wanting to have sex everyday????????
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Hello Milkyway!
I have been married for 8 years now, approaching the 9th. I find my circumstances similar. We lived in America for the first 4 years and humped like rabbits, 3 times a day or more. Later, we moved to Europe. She found work and I didn't. So she would come home tired and I would find myself horny and pestering her for sex. Then the tables turned. She got pregnant and I got work. I'd come home too tired to want it...or feel it if I did. And I tend to overwork myself on the side as well.
As to your first question...wanting to have sex is the way nature made us, our parents had sex and here we are, anyone who denies this urge is retarded somehow...as that is not natural. Nothing wrong with you there!
I want more too...I can't get enough...restless as I am! Life can get complicated...
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Originally Posted by Milkyway
I tell him often that my only complaint about our sex life is that we don;t do it often enough. It never happens two days in a row. WTF. 
We have two toddlers that drag down our energy, but really they are more my responsibly than his. He has a desk job and doesn't work long hours, so its not like he's been working his ass off in a factory all day and is truly overworked. |
I do...work my ass of...more specifically my brain, I get paid to control my thoughts like a calculator and go home with head aches, only to engage in more thought activities as my conscious dictates. Ouch...
As for your man...if he isn't working so much, perhaps there is a lot in his mind, his need to succeed is weighing on his mind as his time runs away. Men are like this, they are driving instinctively by many generations of breeding to achieve.
Also, if you two are simply too comfortable and possessive of each other, this will kill the drive faster then anything. Once you start seeing yourself or the other as a possession (which can happen in marriage), the sex sparks start fizzling bit by bit.
Confidence is a winner! Are you confident in your self? If not, this may be adding to the problem. When one is confident, they appear independent (confidence doesn't really on others), and that leads to a sense of the unknown, the mysterious. That is always exciting!
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Originally Posted by Milkyway
Am I crazy to want to have sex everyday after 7 years of marriage?
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No! Your healthy!
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Originally Posted by Milkyway
Is it crazy that I get sad when he says he's "too tired" and I gotta go without.
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No! If he's open minded, communicate with him and perhaps play with yourself if he doesn't object, even if it doesn't get him excited, it keeps tensions down.
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Originally Posted by Milkyway
I didn't think guys got too tired for sex, he's in his early thirties for F*** sake.
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So am I, but I will never get tired...(oh dear...am I bragging?)...of having sex, I am hopeless. Though when I work and work and work more, I find that we aren't at it as much, the pregnancy also plays a role. Enough about me...sorry...
If hes in his early thirties, then he should be one horny toad...???
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Originally Posted by Milkyway
I need to know what other married, or long term live ins have to say about this am I asking too much?
Should I just be happy that the sex is awesome when we do have it?
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Be happy with the sex there is...yes! Here are the big, big, big keys; Communication and Understanding
communicate your desires to each other and play them out...are there any fantasies to explore? Try them.
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Originally Posted by Milkyway
Or should I just masturbate beside him in bed and give him the choice whether or not to join in?  (Been thinking about trying this.)
Sorry so many questions, but I certainly need help with this issue. |
This is a great idea, most men who aren't too dominating or controlling won't object to this. If he's zapped, I think your ideas here are excellent. If he doesn't mind...try it! I know for myself that it is very exciting to see a women play with herself. Also, if he is really beat up from work or something, loosen him up with a good massage first. Be patient for the changes and they will happen; if rushed...he will feel rushed and that will make it harder to excite him.
I wish the two of you what I wish for my own relation...the best and most healthy sex possible!
PS...whats he eating (food and sexual potency are without a question connected...).
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Originally Posted by Milkyway
Thanks for all the advice. I am definitely trying not to be pissed when I gotta go without. I talked to some of my girlfriends with kids around my kids' ages and they all think I am crazy, some of them have only had sex like twice in the last six months and think that was too much. One said she hasn't had sex in 9 months-YES 9 MONTHS and she is not pregnant-says she is afraid to get pregnant again-other two kids were both ooops on birth control. I'm like just slap a cap on him and do it girl.
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Hahahaha!!! Sorry, the oops birth control thing got to me...haven't men ever heard of self control? You know...pull out before its too late? As to the women having it 2 every two months, how could they give any good advice? Be weary not to end up like that...you have a right to get off!
I agree about not getting pissed, it only adds water to the flood!
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Originally Posted by Milkyway
Anyway, I see that I am in the minority here, especially for being a woman with children. And my hubby is stressed at work, but I have turned up the heat in our relationship a little bit, and hopefully we can find some medium ground. In the mean time I think I need to buy some new porn and get a fancy vibrator, either that or a girlfriend to bring home and play with.
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This is the idea!!! Especially that last part...will most likely drive him nuts...he'll do a little dance as he walks to work and you will rule him if he's into that stuff! Lucky man I add, its not always easy to find women so open sexually!