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Originally Posted by jewels
You have to let it go.
Let go of your guilt. It's not doing anything good for anyone.
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Let it go.
Maybe multiple times of hearing this will help you realize. Shame ruins everything. You have to forgive yourself and move on. If you cannot forgive yourself and let it go, you will continue to have these issues.
It sounds like the family has been through a lot so most likely, it isn't all about you. However, you are feeling shameful and guilty so whenever they act the way they do, you mind-read them and make it all about you. The family has been through a lot of shit. Maybe your perception is skewed based on how you feel about yourself.
I haven't been there and haven't witnessed the behavior, but that's something to consider.