Thanks for all the advice, keep it coming. (so I can keep cumming-couldn't resist!)
JSYK, there have been changes in our sex life over the years, I used to initiate all most all the time. And we tried just about everything!!! As the years progressed we tried less, knowing what we enjoyed, but still kept it varied between the different positions and activities that we enjoyed, and he started initiating more.
Over the last three and a half years I have carried and pushed out two babies, (the youngest is 15 months old, our oldest is 33 months) No I have not gotten back into my pre-baby jeans, but I am still hot as hell and I see the lust in his eyes when I am working it. (Maybe I am over confident in that.)
When I was pregnant and between babies, I did not feel sexy at all, and I did not initiate sex as much, but never turned it down. It took more to get me hot, so he had to work harder on things than he was used to.
Since the second baby something has changed inside me, I feel sexier and act sexier, I always used to wear grannie panties-I know don't kill me, now I wear lace boyshorts, lace thongs and go free bird a lot. I got rid of the big cotton t-shirts I used to sleep in and now wear sexy satin and lace nightgowns that accentuate my larger than before breasts. (those he loves) Because I feel sexier I want sex more, plus sex feels better than it used to-I guess the babies moved things around down there.
I know he is stressed with work, and has been looking for a different job-but sex has always been a great stress reliever for us. We have started going on dates again I love the sex in the car idea-haven't done that for years. Minivan or Malibu with car seats and evil center console?-I'm thinking minivan!
Over the last several months we have worked on reducing stress around the house and trying to enjoy each other more, and also spending more time a part doing or own things, which we both missed.
I do a lot of the work when it comes to sex and he is totally allowed to just sit there, like one day last week when I did what I call "raping him in the middle of the night" - 4am I was hot, he was asleep, I roll over rub it get it hard, pull pants down a little , climb on ride it out, climb off-no talking, no other touching, nothing. Although if he comes to enough to do other stuff then we do. (He says he has no complaints about the raping in the middle of the night, except he prefers it happens more like 12am than 4am, but he says he doesn;t feel uysed or anything.) Sometimes the sex is very loving and sensual, sometimes the sex is cold and selfish, sometimes the sex is wild and hot, we mix it up and that's the way we both like it. I am on top more often than him, but one of our favorite positions requires him to be on top
I guess I don't understand him being too tired for sex, because we can make it really fast if he wants and he falls right to sleep afterward, I'm the one who can;t fall asleep after sex-bummer.
He is not phsically fit, not fat, but just flabby, but he has always been that way. I have always been more into taking care of my body than he was. I supopose he could miss me being smaller though, but its not like I can ask him that. He can't say yes because he would feel selfish and worry he'd upset me and he can't say no because he would worry i wouldn't believe him and that it would somund like he doesn;t care what my body looks like. I know there is no way to ask a man that question, besides said he like the medium sized curvy gals, which I still fit the bill, but I am bigger than when we first hooked up and certainly bigger than my smallest (which was after a couple years of marriage with the help of some ephedrine).
Anyway, if you have any addirtional advice based on that stuff, I'd appreciate it. I really need to get my groove on more often. My highschool reunion is coming up, and I don't want to be tempted by old flings.