Thanks, everybody, for your sound advice. My closest friends also agree that the situation isn't going to improve and that either he needs to move out or I need to break the lease. They don't see him trying to change, either.
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Originally Posted by Aladdin Sane
Were you exposed to addictive behaviors when you were growing up? There's a big chance that you were.
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Actually, no, I had a very stable childhood. My parents are still married and they are both well-to-do and neither are addicts. Maybe that's why I was so blind and ignorant to his addictive behaviors for the first two years of our relationship. Or maybe because he is just that good at lying to cover it up. He also lied about how his car was wrecked and just came clean last night (originally said it was hit & run in the mall parking lot through no fault of his own but last night told me he totaled it while driving to pick up pills).
He does have a job but it's a shitty server job and what money he does make, he blows on god knows what. This is the first month he is actually having trouble making rent but he says he has the money, so we'll see. I would be thankful actually if he didn't come up with it, so I'd have a legal reason to kick him out. I'd rather live here alone and get a female roommate in here rather than break the lease, honestly... I'm too chicken shit to ask my parents for money right now. I also feel like a loser for making such a bad decision to move in with him in the first place. Last night was the second time he acted out in a way that scared me and I guess I needed some time to let it digest. Now it seems obvious I am going to have to talk to my folks.
I also plan on talking to his brother today who lives down the street and telling him about what is going on. Everybody in his immediate family knows he is an alcoholic but I don't think they they have any idea as to how emotionally unstable he is. He can be so "normal" when he's sober, but anymore that is not who he is. The alcohol is consuming him completely. On top of that, he claims he stills loves me, which is fucking hilarious because this sure doesn't feel like love to me. He can't seem to accept the fact that we are over and so he drinks even more. There is nothing positive about any of this, it's just a big ol' hot mess.
I will keep you posted on how it unravels.. this has been a lesson learned, for sure. It's mindblowing to me how you think you know someone but you have no clue what they're really like until you live with them. So fucked up!!!