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Originally Posted by girldetective
I hope this "visual" sensitivity stuff isnt going to come back to haunt them, and us. Whats with this gettin hot to paper but not the real thing? Jeeez. We all need more lovin, not less. And whats with the business that she hears this increasingly? Whatever.
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I worry about this, too. I think this is why porn bothers me quite a bit - largely when I behave like a girl in a pornographic photo (making exaggerated faces and grabbing my own breasts, for example), my boyfriend gets "omgturnedonpop." Sure, I enjoy touching myself, but how much of his arousal is due to me enjoying myself and how much is due to the "visual" aspect? If I blindfold him and have my way with him, will things not work? Will he then become an "audio" person? Or will my touches be adequate? It's worth an experiment. I don't like being called "my little porn star" - I certainly don't WANT to be a porn star.
One of my friends talked about something like this a while ago in a LJ entry. She said (paraphrasing) that it really bothers her when a man's goal is just to get her off and be good at doing so. This, to her, is an ego thing: her partner feels bad when he doesn't achieve the goal of giving her an orgasm, whether or not she enjoyed herself anyway. His goal is to be good at sex, not to allow his partner to enjoy herself. This is something that irks me, sometimes, too. I hear "you're so good at that" rather than "that felt great, thanks." It's sometimes a difficult distinction to make and I'm sure a lot of people don't analyze things this way, but I believe her thoughts make sense.
I apologize for drifting away from the OP as well, but I do think that this discussion is at least related.
