So this is off OP, but relates to the related topics that have been brought up in this thread.
At work we receive complimentary copies of
Psychology Today which I usually recycle, it being a ragmag and all. However, when the 08/08 issue came the other day I took it home. Why? Because the issue's main topic asks
Twisted?, with a woman in leather on the cover. It piqued my interest, what can I tell you? So regarding this topic, on page 73, is this excerpt that may or may not apply to body issues, as well as maybe a reason why some get discouraged. I dont know. But, I thought of this thread when I read it.
Pg 73, excerpted:
Quote:
A little bit of kink is a good thing if it spurs open-mindedness and a spirit of adventure. But when an object or a ritual becomes more important than the living, breathing partner, it gets in the way of a relationship and of sexual fulfillment.
The predilection doesn't have to be weird to cause a problem. Fulbright says that increasingly, she hears from heterosexual guys who have trouble getting aroused unless they look at or imitate porn. At first, their counseling regimen is not very much fun" "It's almost like quitting smoking," she says. They have to slowly get used to new (non-porn-related) practices over time, while tolerating unpleasant feelings akin to psychological withdrawal.
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I hope this "visual" sensitivity stuff isnt going to come back to haunt them, and us. Whats with this gettin hot to paper but not the real thing? Jeeez. We all need more lovin, not less. And whats with the business that she hears this
increasingly? Whatever.
Anyway. Back to the OP :
Quote:
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I feel resigned to being a frumpy stay at home mom, and I feel like food and my weight control me now.
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Whatever weight you are, try to keep in mind that your food, weight, and frumpishness are controlled
by you now (and really always). Could you perhaps get together with other/another mom or other people who have your schedule to just hang out and maybe get yourself going just a little? Would it help to have some time to yourself, perhaps have a night of the week that is yours, when you can go to see a film by yourself, see a shrink, have a pedicure, go to the library, walk in the park, bicycle to the grocer's, or whatever. With the summer weather maybe you could get an ice cream bar and walk in the park to eat it. Then you are doing both exercise and eating sweets. I like it. The ying/yang junk appeals to me in this instance.
And you know, maybe you dont care because your interest and attention are happily on other people/situations at this time in your life and maybe you only notice your body occasionally because most of the time you are not tending to yourself. Thats what being a mom is all about though, dont you think? Perhaps unselfishly and without thought thinking of someone else. Perhaps you just havent gotten the balance right just yet, but I imagine that you will.