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Originally Posted by girldetective
I dont want to imagine having the father of my child telling me I was unattractive due to the weight gain of carrying said child. That would be so incredibly hurtful. In addition, if one loses pregnancy weight back to pre-pregnancy weight, but has stretch marks, are they then labeled as unattractive? What if after nursing a woman's breasts fall or droop? Is she then unattractive?
Im getting kinda tired of men justifying their behavior with the usual "men need visual stimulation" routine that puts all of us on notice that we may not be good enough if we are not perfect. I am a woman and I am also visually stimulated, but I dont go around telling men that they need to change in order for to find them attractive. And what if one part of our body is perfect and another not? What if we have a fat bum, but perfect ankles? Fallen breasts, but great legs? Are we then less as a person?
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You've nailed it. To me, "justification" (of any kind, from men or women) = excuse for adhering to the lowest common denominator, not a valid reason for explaining one's perspective as being logically unassailable.
Woo-hoo, news flash: men are visual! And wait... so are women! But hey, it's okay if a man doesn't find his 10-20 lb heavier, stretch-marked post-pregnancy wife very sexy anymore, because HIS visual stimulation is somehow more important than her needs while taking care of their baby. Hmph. Someone explain to me the logic here.
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Originally Posted by *Nikki*
Actually I think the only men that would have a problem with a woman who has extra weight after childbirth have never been with a woman who had a child!!
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I don't know... we've seen it plenty of times on TFP, as I recall. Lots of men come in here confessing their deep angst over not finding their wife sexy anymore, after having children... how the romance just slowly died afterwards. Of course, once again, not every man is like that. But I think we all know people who have been in that place, whether or not they admitted it in a public arena.