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im back... from vacation! first of all, my other friend going and i ate it right away and told him to go be there for his mom @ the funeral. but then later that day, he came back, said he talked to his parents... and given the situation (a non refundable cabin rental by owner, not a hotel that could be re-booked), they said his gramps would want him to go.
so we did, and had a great time. thanks for chiming in everyone.
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-my phobia drowned while i was gettin down.
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