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Originally Posted by abaya
By the way, I should amend my post to say that this would be my hypothetical response to the hypothetical situation of a man demanding that I get in good shape and stay in good shape before/after the baby, in order to make sure I remained "attractive" to him.
However, on my own initiative (something I have thought about long before being with a guy), I would rather just be in good shape years before having a kid, because I'd rather bring my kid into the world from a healthy body. Hence why I try and make the gym a regular thing NOW, and intend to keep it that way for as long as possible into the future (just returned from running a 5K at midnight in Iceland, woo-hoo!), for my own sake as well as my future kids'.
My only issue with this whole deal is a guy making weight loss a "requirement" for attraction, when one is already trying hard enough to stay in good shape, but might not have the build or the bones to be "skinny." I never have, and I doubt that's going to reverse itself after children!... but if for whatever reason I do end up gaining some weight after pregnancy, I am slightly afraid of a decrease in being attractive to my husband, and that bothers me right now. What if, for whatever reason, no matter how hard I work out, I can't get back to how I used to look? I don't like the fact that this should ever matter.
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To this and the others thinking if they work out before pregnancy, they'll be in better shape after....
I belonged to a gym, was in fantastic shape, then got pregnant.....end of nice abs, nice butt, nice anything. As a friend told me when I lamented my huge middle after giving birth, "It took nine months to get that big, did you really think you'd get back to where you were right after?" Well, yea....
If your man loves you for your bodyshape, he's not worthy of your love. Granted, I think we all have an obligation to be the best we can for our mates, but that goes both ways.
I'm tall and until my mid-30's, I was skinny. Eight years after my pregnancy, I managed to get skinny again. In the past 11 months, because of my job change and visits to many diners, I have gained 18 lbs. But I don't intend on losing it all, just 10, but now that I'm older, it's impossible. I go down three, get in a mood and eat them back on. I seem to have plateaued as I haven't gained any MORE weight, but it'd be nice to not have to adjust the jeans while pulling them on, plus tight clothes exacerbates my IBS. My guys love me as I am, so the fretting is all mine. One even sent me the song "Get Over It" by the Eagles.
We want to be perfect because that's what media tells us our men want. But, if they love us, we already are.