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I've never been terribly concerned about my weight, though I think that's mostly because anytime I start to hover above my set point, I increase my exercise and tone down my food intake and get it to a healthy level. So I've never been overweight, though I've never been skinny, either. I just feel fine about my body, overall, and I self-regulate pretty successfully (so far).
However, right now (about to turn 29) I'm rather terrified of what having kids will do to my body. Not just the tearing and stretching of my vagina (oh yay), but to my metabolism and body type overall. Strong and stocky genes are dominant in my family, and while that's served me well until now (I'm proud of being athletic and able to demand a lot from my body, rather than being a fragile waif), all the women in my family got bigger after their children were born. Some of them are still extremely active and athletic, but they look chubby, bordering on fat. It makes me want to avoid the whole pregnancy thing right now, and just adopt.
I suppose it doesn't really help that the only thing ktspktsp admits to being a turn-off for him would be weight gain. He doesn't care if I don't shave my legs or haven't plucked my eyebrows for weeks, or if I have a wart on my foot or am having a bad hair season... so I guess I can stop being insecure about those things! But he said that weight gain tends to be a big deal for men--which is honest, but terribly frustrating, since it seems to be one of those universal things that women struggle with, especially after childbirth. I mean, talk about irony, eh?
I can see if someone is just "letting themselves go," that of course it might have some consequences in the bedroom/attraction factor. That's just laziness. But if someone is working out regularly, eating well, and still looks rather beefy (like my aunts do--Icelandic genes, somewhat like German women)... what is a woman supposed to do? She goes through pregnancy, gives birth to children, and is still expected to have the body of a 22 year old for the rest of her life?
Personally, I don't mind the bodies of my aunts and relatives at all. I think it's fine that their bodies look like that, after all they've put them through to that point. If someone is 50 years old and able to climb a mountain with no problems because she is in such good health, after raising several children to boot, then why should she have to make herself look 22 just to be "attractive" to her man? As if all the other things added up don't mean anything in terms of "attraction?" I really don't get it.
I'll feel lucky if I am as strong and active as my aunts are today. And you should see their husbands! Talk about unattractive... who cares about physically (they look fine), their personalities are horrible, they're anti-social as hell, can't make a conversation to save their lives. And yet, somehow it's justifiable for a man to think, "I'm visual, which means that I might not feel like fucking you if you get fat, even if that's due to carrying and raising our children." If all the women in the world were to make statements like that about their men, about how "unattractive" their mates' personalities become after a certain age... well! Our species wouldn't get very far, would it?
/off my soapbox... this topic has just got me riled up lately.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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