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Originally Posted by Nisses
Manic_Skafe: that's funny, because I'm 100% sure that I know at least 10x the number of people that would mind...
Just because you know a few that don't mind, doesn't make it something universal.
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When did I ever say it was universal?
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Originally Posted by Nisses
Have had massages, never had a happy ending, and I would really prefer not to have it either. (the fact that most of them were guys is my #1 motivator, but, I'm not the type to fool around and it *would* feel like that to me, no matter what way you spin it).
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How is speaking from my perspective
spinning anything? You don't agree with me and that's great. But don't make it seem like I work for CNN simply because I offered my opinion in an open discussion.
Seems a happy ending would serve you right.
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Originally Posted by Willravel
You'll have to explain how a handjob isn't sexual.
But seriously, it IS an infidelity thing. It's also a "handjobs are for 7th graders" thing, but that's not as important. I simply will not cheat regardless of the circumstances.
If it's cheating in my mind, it's cheating. Permission doesn't even enter the equation as far as I'm concerned.
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Well by definition, it'd only be cheating if it violated the terms of the relationship between you and your s/o. If your lover were perfectly fine with it then it
couldn't be cheating.
And it's not that the handjob isn't a sexual act. I believe the casual attitude stems from the idea that cheating involves a significant emotional investment in someone outside of your relationship. And that sexual openness, acknowledgment of your desires and open communication with your s/o make for a healthy relationship.
The couples that I know who are fine with it seem to figure that an allowance of this sort works positively for their relationship as it promotes honesty and openness and very well may head off an actual affair at the pass.