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boink, you've asked yourself a couple of times so far why you're with her. You've mentioned that you've broken up a few times but you've always left the door of communication open for her and it's always resulted in you getting back together.
Maybe instead of trying to figure out why they're doing what they're doing, it might help you more to try and figure out why you're doing what you're doing.
What I mean by that is: why do you break up with her only to allow her back into your life? Do you feel an obligation to her? If so, why? I think if you ask yourself these questions, it would help you more than trying to understand what's going on with your girlfriend. You mentioned that your father was an alcoholic and that many of the men in your girlfriend's family are alcoholics. Do you think there's a connection there in your motives? These aren't easy questions to answer, but I think they're important questions to answer.
Good luck.
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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
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