06-08-2008, 09:35 PM
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#58 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Makia
Well, I'm sure she is aware that you feel this way, and it's killing her self-esteem, which is not going to inspire her to take better care of herself, so you're basically stuck as far as I can see.
I have to wonder if you really love her as much as you say/think you do. For me, any time I've been in love with someone, I may notice physical flaws, especially at first, but eventually I just stop noticing and appreciate them for who/what they are--basically, they become attractive to my eyes even if they weren't at first. But, again, that's just me.
As I see it--and I'm not trying to be insensitive or anything--this is your problem, and not hers. Sure, she should probably try to lose weight for health reasons, as probably a lot of us could stand to, but she should NOT be put in a position where she feels she has to for you to be attracted to her.
(sorry I've edited this so many times)
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Yeah, I feel the same way about your situation, maybe you're over exaggerating a little bit in what you said, but still, I think her being over weight shouldn't be much of an issue if you're in love with her, and stressing her to lose weight isn't going to help, especially if other people around her are also telling her to lose weight, so either just let her be as she is, or, of course if it really starts getting out of hand, you might want to become more aggressive about it and tell her she needs to lose weight for her health. And not having sex for a weight issues (and other problems) isn't good for you two's relationship, I'm sure she understands that you want her to lose weight, but you still have to make her feel good about herself, cause she's definitely not going to want to start losing weight being depressed about how she looks, she's just going to continue to be depressed, and probably move on to a guy who likes her for how she looks.
-Morel |
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