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Ouch. This sucks. Thing is, a lot of us have been there.
Here's the thing, though. You say you want to stay friends. If you really mean that, you're going to have to walk away. It sucks and it's hard. You may have to explain to her that you need some space to get your head on straight. It's going to take time, and it's going to suck, but right now with your emotions being all fucked up it just can't happen.
I'm willing to pay good odds that you don't know what you want right now. It's not your fault or anything like that; it's just hard to know when you're still feelin kind of fucked up and bummed out. So take your space and give yourself time to get over it.
Also, don't think about getting back together. It's not going to happen. What you had is done. What comes next is something different. Exactly what form it'll take remains to be seen, but just take the time and let it sort itself out.
You're going to be moving to a new city in a new province and starting university soon. It's small comfort right now, but in a year you'll have so much going that you won't even know yourself anymore. Focus on you and getting done what you need to get done. It may turn out that this is the best possible thing. It's hard to see from where you are how that could possibly be, but it's the truth.
I have said before that TFP is something like a family. We have our squabbles and we're not perfect, but we're a tight knit group and our members are here for each other. You're a part of that now. It will get better, and meanwhile life will go on.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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