I think it's wrong to lie to people about someone's death...especially if it's someone who they cared about. I do think that some people are too sensitive to be put in this situation and it can be traumatic. I'm not in favour of it.
I think the second part, the re-enactment, or the talk that ratbastid mentions with victims of drunk-driving, is not a bad idea.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what happens to you or what you're told - it's how you deal with things and your decision process, based on your character, that will determine an outcome.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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