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Originally Posted by Jinn
Dealbreaker for you, perhaps.
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Yup. First two words in that sentence of mine are key:
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Originally Posted by abaya
To me, a refusal to go to therapy constitutes a dealbreaker
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Good thing we never dated, eh?... looks like it would have been a dealbreaker between us.
That said, I went to 4-5 therapists before I found one who could actually help me. Doesn't mean I quit trying. I just kept looking. It mattered that much to me, to be able to have a healthy relationship instead of a series of fucked-up ones.
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Originally Posted by Jinn
nor does refusal to go to therapy constitute stubbornness, arrogance or ignorance.
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Once again, this is my opinion. I reserve the right to judge someone's character based on those standards... we all make our own judgments, for whatever reasons. Sounds like you actually gave therapy some kind of try, and I respect that. But someone flat-out refusing to go to therapy? No. Not my deal.
I left something out... it might not be stubbornness, arrogance, or ignorance... but it might be fear that's keeping them from trying something potentially helpful and that definitely won't kill them, even if it might not work for them. And if it is indeed fear, then I can work with that... to get them to a place where they are no longer afraid of talking to someone about their issues. But if it's any of the other reasons, then those are definitely dealbreakers.