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How many serious relationships was she in before you? Given your age, I only assume she has not had long term relationships before, and given the situation, I don't think she has had many serious (even not serious) relationships before. This could explain the clingy behavior and the things you perceive as abandonment issues. Working this the other way, you might be flirting more than you think, or don't give her the attention she deserves.
Just given this, I would think she has a controlling attitude. Your observations make her seem to be that she must always be right, even when it does not matter. Working this the other way, there may very well be something that you don't know about her past that makes her this way.
My solution is you must talk to her. Start off with the communication issues you have. Whatever things she isn't saying, try and have her talk to them with you. After 4.5 years, she ought to feel free to talk to you about anything. Tell her that when you are giving advice, it isn't that she is doing something wrong, that there is a different way. If she is unwilling to accept that there is some lack of communication between you two... I would offer an ultimatum.
It is rough. There are times to be tactful and times to be jaded. Being blunt often gets the truth in the air the fastest. Being tactful often just sugarcoats the bullshit.
Last edited by Hain; 06-03-2008 at 04:12 AM..
Reason: Removed phrases that I forgot to get rid of from my first edit
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