Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - My girlfriend's too fat, but I love her (I'll go to hell for this post)

Martian · 06-01-2008, 01:34 PM

First off, ditch the self-flagellation. It's not doing you any good and there's no point to it. You have your standards, and that's okay. See, this is one of those personal responsibility things. Your girlfriend is fat. Bottom line, no mincing words, that's the issue here. And barring any ongoing medical issues, being fat is her choice. A very small portion of the population has no control over this; for everyone else, it's a matter of not being willing to make the necessary changes because 'it's too haaaaard!'

Which is bullshit.

I mean, I'm all about personal liberty. She's free to live like that if she wants to. But the flip-side of the coin is personal responsibility. In other words, you can choose to do or be whatever you want, but you've gotta lie in the bed you've made. You deal with the consequences. One of the many consequences of being fat is that most guys aren't attracted to it, and that apparently includes you. If she's willing to accept that then good on her, but it raises the question of why you should have to accept her 'flaw' because she can't be arsed?

What I'd be getting from this if I were you is that your relationship just isn't worth the effort from her. She doesn't deem it important enough to get off the couch and go for a walk every day, or to cut the sweets out of her diet. That would be sending a pretty poor message to me about her opinion of me, and instead of all this crap about 'oooh, my girlfriend is fat and unattractive and I'm a bad person for noticing this' I would've been out the door a while ago.

You're not going to wake up one morning and magically discover that fat is sexy. Some people do think fat is sexy, and some people are just totally indifferent to it; clearly you don't fit into either category and you're not doing yourselves any favours trying to in order to be politically correct. See, because the other side is she's not terribly likely to wake up one morning and decide she's going to run a marathon either. It's clear at this point that she's made her choice on how she wants to live her life. Maybe she'll change someday or maybe she won't, but if you feel like gambling you'd do better to buy a few scratch tickets. They're more fun and you won't be staking your future happiness on them.

You can try telling her it's the weight or you, but don't be surprised when she doesn't pick you. If it were me I'd just skip that step.

06-01-2008, 01:34 PM	#45 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	First off, ditch the self-flagellation. It's not doing you any good and there's no point to it. You have your standards, and that's okay. See, this is one of those personal responsibility things. Your girlfriend is fat. Bottom line, no mincing words, that's the issue here. And barring any ongoing medical issues, being fat is her choice. A very small portion of the population has no control over this; for everyone else, it's a matter of not being willing to make the necessary changes because 'it's too haaaaard!' Which is bullshit. I mean, I'm all about personal liberty. She's free to live like that if she wants to. But the flip-side of the coin is personal responsibility. In other words, you can choose to do or be whatever you want, but you've gotta lie in the bed you've made. You deal with the consequences. One of the many consequences of being fat is that most guys aren't attracted to it, and that apparently includes you. If she's willing to accept that then good on her, but it raises the question of why you should have to accept her 'flaw' because she can't be arsed? What I'd be getting from this if I were you is that your relationship just isn't worth the effort from her. She doesn't deem it important enough to get off the couch and go for a walk every day, or to cut the sweets out of her diet. That would be sending a pretty poor message to me about her opinion of me, and instead of all this crap about 'oooh, my girlfriend is fat and unattractive and I'm a bad person for noticing this' I would've been out the door a while ago. You're not going to wake up one morning and magically discover that fat is sexy. Some people do think fat is sexy, and some people are just totally indifferent to it; clearly you don't fit into either category and you're not doing yourselves any favours trying to in order to be politically correct. See, because the other side is she's not terribly likely to wake up one morning and decide she's going to run a marathon either. It's clear at this point that she's made her choice on how she wants to live her life. Maybe she'll change someday or maybe she won't, but if you feel like gambling you'd do better to buy a few scratch tickets. They're more fun and you won't be staking your future happiness on them. You can try telling her it's the weight or you, but don't be surprised when she doesn't pick you. If it were me I'd just skip that step. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame