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Self-discipline. Mutual Respect. Trying Harder.
We all like to point the finger but we should look at ourselves first.
And people may change....but only so much. This goes for both of you.
I'd say if you feel this way now, after only 4 years (it may seem like a lot but...)...
I have to really be blunt, from personal experience, about it: it probably won't work out in the long-term.
Not if she's happy as is, and you're not. You can both try...but resentment will grow on both sides, almost surely.
And this doesn't mean to say I think you're shallow. People should have what they think they need or want. Just make sure you really do know what you need.
If it's not mostly rosy in the beginning, it probably will never straighten itself out. Sorry to be negative.
But good luck all the same. There are always exceptions...and we can all hope for that.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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