Originally Posted by Bear Cub

Ok, I have to describe the layout of the room to really get the full effect. Its a small, off-campus apartment. You walk through the doorway a few steps, and an opening to the combined living room/bedroom is to the right. Looking into that room, the bed is up against the far wall, and the back of the futon basically creates the side to the bed.


Onto the story. My partner in crime (we shall call him Mudshark) and I were at the bar a block away. It has been one of those evenings. The two of us have racked up a $350 bar tab (we drink cheap drinks, too), been molested by a pair of hot female twins who were already kicked out for being too drunk, you name it, its probably happened.

We decide its a good time to leave, and after fumbling horribly all the way back to Mudshark's place, our friend M and Mudshark's friend D decide to stay behind, while Mudshark and I return to the bar to retrieve his forgotten credit card.

Back to the bar we go, and another $85 later, we head back to his place. Well, I think it was more of an army crawl at that point, but you get the idea.

As we open his door quietly, we hear the ever-so-familiar slurping sound. Mudshark and I huddle there, discussing our course of approach, while trying to hide our giggling schoolgirl laughter. Naturally, I decide to take matters into my own hands.

Mind you now, I'm not very acrobatic. Hell, I can barely bend over to tie my own shoes, but I had the wonders of alcohol acting on my behalf.

I peer through the entryway, only to see one head on the futon instead of two. Perfect.

I launch myself through the entry way, heading straight for the bed. I leap as high as I possibly can, throw all of my weight back, and perform an aerial backflip over and onto the futon.

I landed mid-fellatio. D half-way gags as my body weight presses her head onto M's unit, while simultaneously causing her to instinctively bite down and smush M's nutsack at the same time. Needless to say, fellatio over.

I laughed for 20 minutes until I passed out, Mudshark laughed until he passed out, and his head was eventually discovered wedged inside a dog kennel somehow, and M found it appropriate to teabag the back of my head and take a picture on his camera phone. Unfortunately for him, it was far too dark to show up for any justifiable revenge.