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Originally Posted by little_tippler
Thing is, a lot of times, contexts and situations aren't as clear cut as they seem when we talk about them hypothetically. Emotional abuse is often even harder to realize - often when you're in love you try to explain things away.
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Oh, I know... I watched every single female do it in my family for my entire life (and they're still putting up with it, to this day). I know it doesn't seem as clear cut in real life, but truly, I don't have a lot of gray area in this sense. It comes down to knowing what you're worth (something that a lot of women don't have a good sense of, for various reasons in society and their families), and knowing that you have the strength to walk out of a situation, no matter what. That is what therapy was able to teach me, so that I wouldn't follow in my female relatives' footsteps. I get pretty sick of watching women throw themselves in front of the oncoming train that is a bad relationship, all to be "martyrs" because they "love" someone. As if it's a GOOD thing to love someone more than you love yourself?! Where do women get those ideas?
Being "in love" is HIGHLY overrated, compared to having a sense of self-worth and knowing how to stand up for yourself, not giving in to dangerous emotions. Of course, most women (including myself, back in the day) dive oh-so-willingly into the "I'm in looooove" pool, long before they've done the work to establish themselves as whole individuals. And so the cycle perpetuates... more and more justification, all in the guise of "love."
/off my soapbox now. This subject just gets me so riled. I know it's more complicated than this, but I don't have a lot of patience for it anymore. People have to make their choices, at some point.