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5'8" @ 165 lbs and you're embarassed to go to the gym?! I was 5'8" and 280 and I went!!
When it comes to working out at the gym, I have a saying... It's not about how you look, it's about how you WANT to look. It's not about how much you lift, it's that you're lifitng it. It's not about how you feel, it's about how you WANT to feel.
Besides, what BETTER place could you go where you're likely to find other overweight people in the same boat as you?? That's like being ashamed to go to AA because you're an alki!
ANYWAY, I seriously doubt you look as bad as you think. I weight 240 now and people think I look great, so sounds to me like it might be a little bit mental.
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