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Martian · 05-24-2008, 04:34 AM

V For Vendetta:

I know, I know. I'm very late to the party. The thing is, hype makes me suspicious. When people tell me that a film is totally mind-bendingly awesome and changed their life and gave their girlfriend an orgasm she'll never forget I tend to disbelieve them because it has been my experience that most people are full of shit. I thought Fight Club was a giant wank-a-thon that shat all over the wonderfully written story by Chuck Palahniuk, I figured out the shocking twist of the Sixth Sense fifteen minutes in (he got shot in the opening scene and we're supposed to be surprised that he's dead?) and I thought The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe was about half an hour longer than it needed to be.

So when the teeming masses began raving abo0ut V For Vendetta I said 'I'll take your word for it' and moved on with my life. I realize that taking this policy may cause me to occasionally miss out on a gem, but for the most part I'm okay with it.

When I stumbled across this DVD in the bargain bin for $5 however I figured I couldn't really go wrong. After all, you can't even rent a movie for that much these days and it's one of those lovely two disc deals, so I figured if I hated it at least I'd get a nice matching set of coasters out of the deal.

I've spent three paragraphs justifying my decision not to see V For Vendetta when it was originally released and part of that is because I feel like an idiot. Mostly, though, it's because I just have no words to describe this film. I want to say things like gripping, intense, and beautiful but these words are all cliched and essentially meaningless. Instead I will relate this anecdote.

About forty-five minutes in I felt an unfamiliar sensation, a sort of tightness in my chest. I thought briefly that it might be a heart attack but decided to wait it out because I really didn't want to have to miss any of the action. That's when I realized what it was; I was actually wholly absorbed in the story. It's been so long since a film has had that effect on me that I'd forgotten what it feels like, but V For Vendetta did it.

10/10

The Hulk

Hoo boy. I found this one in the same bargain bin, and I thought how bad can it be? Bruce Banner gets angry, gives someone an intense look and then Hulk Smash. It's pretty hard to stuff this up. Or so I thought.

The problem with The Hulk is that it tries to be more than it is. Ang Lee has attempted to flesh out the story with explorations of humanity and fathers and sons and daughters and all that happy horse shit. That's all well and good and many a great film has been made using these premises, but the problem here is that an intellectual journey runs counter to everything Hulk is about.

The result is... well, painful would probably be the most accurate way to describe it. The characters are all completely one dimensional and not at all developed and the story meanders aimlessly and stops in a meadow to pick wildflowers from time to time with seemingly no urgency to reach any sort of identifiable climax. This is exacerbated by the cinematography and editing, which I think is intended to evoke a comic book feel but really ends up just confusing the viewer and pulling him out of the experience. I spent more time trying to figure out what was going on than I did enjoying the film; the last time that happened was Memento, but at least that one had a good mystery to it. The result was that, in stark contrast to V, I found myself completely uninterested in The Hulk and had to struggle to even sit through it and pay attention, and I read the comic books. I shudder to think what somebody who doesn't read comics would think of this.

Also speaking as a reader of comic books, I found some of the deviations from the source to be completely unnecessary and contrary to the original tone. I'm not a source material purist and I'm not going to get upset if his skin is the wrong shade of green, but I also believe that if you're going to adapt material from another medium you should attempt to keep in line with the original material stylistically. Changing a few plot points to modernize your story or to suit it better to your new medium and audience is one thing, but arbitrarily changing a character's origin or other details just doesn't jive. It strikes me that Mr Lee seemed hell-bent on including certain films in whatever project he happened to be working on at the time and decided to shoe-horn them into The Hulk regardless of whether they fit or not, and the result is just a great big shoehorn-compressed mess.

I'm going to stop here, not because I have nothing more to say but because I could easily spend pages ranting about how terrible this film is and I imagine we all have better things to do. Suffice to say that I'm being generous when I give this big pile of slop
3/10

05-24-2008, 04:34 AM	#2735 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	V For Vendetta: I know, I know. I'm very late to the party. The thing is, hype makes me suspicious. When people tell me that a film is totally mind-bendingly awesome and changed their life and gave their girlfriend an orgasm she'll never forget I tend to disbelieve them because it has been my experience that most people are full of shit. I thought Fight Club was a giant wank-a-thon that shat all over the wonderfully written story by Chuck Palahniuk, I figured out the shocking twist of the Sixth Sense fifteen minutes in (he got shot in the opening scene and we're supposed to be surprised that he's dead?) and I thought The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe was about half an hour longer than it needed to be. So when the teeming masses began raving abo0ut V For Vendetta I said 'I'll take your word for it' and moved on with my life. I realize that taking this policy may cause me to occasionally miss out on a gem, but for the most part I'm okay with it. When I stumbled across this DVD in the bargain bin for $5 however I figured I couldn't really go wrong. After all, you can't even rent a movie for that much these days and it's one of those lovely two disc deals, so I figured if I hated it at least I'd get a nice matching set of coasters out of the deal. I've spent three paragraphs justifying my decision not to see V For Vendetta when it was originally released and part of that is because I feel like an idiot. Mostly, though, it's because I just have no words to describe this film. I want to say things like gripping, intense, and beautiful but these words are all cliched and essentially meaningless. Instead I will relate this anecdote. About forty-five minutes in I felt an unfamiliar sensation, a sort of tightness in my chest. I thought briefly that it might be a heart attack but decided to wait it out because I really didn't want to have to miss any of the action. That's when I realized what it was; I was actually wholly absorbed in the story. It's been so long since a film has had that effect on me that I'd forgotten what it feels like, but V For Vendetta did it. 10/10 The Hulk Hoo boy. I found this one in the same bargain bin, and I thought how bad can it be? Bruce Banner gets angry, gives someone an intense look and then Hulk Smash. It's pretty hard to stuff this up. Or so I thought. The problem with The Hulk is that it tries to be more than it is. Ang Lee has attempted to flesh out the story with explorations of humanity and fathers and sons and daughters and all that happy horse shit. That's all well and good and many a great film has been made using these premises, but the problem here is that an intellectual journey runs counter to everything Hulk is about. The result is... well, painful would probably be the most accurate way to describe it. The characters are all completely one dimensional and not at all developed and the story meanders aimlessly and stops in a meadow to pick wildflowers from time to time with seemingly no urgency to reach any sort of identifiable climax. This is exacerbated by the cinematography and editing, which I think is intended to evoke a comic book feel but really ends up just confusing the viewer and pulling him out of the experience. I spent more time trying to figure out what was going on than I did enjoying the film; the last time that happened was Memento, but at least that one had a good mystery to it. The result was that, in stark contrast to V, I found myself completely uninterested in The Hulk and had to struggle to even sit through it and pay attention, and I read the comic books. I shudder to think what somebody who doesn't read comics would think of this. Also speaking as a reader of comic books, I found some of the deviations from the source to be completely unnecessary and contrary to the original tone. I'm not a source material purist and I'm not going to get upset if his skin is the wrong shade of green, but I also believe that if you're going to adapt material from another medium you should attempt to keep in line with the original material stylistically. Changing a few plot points to modernize your story or to suit it better to your new medium and audience is one thing, but arbitrarily changing a character's origin or other details just doesn't jive. It strikes me that Mr Lee seemed hell-bent on including certain films in whatever project he happened to be working on at the time and decided to shoe-horn them into The Hulk regardless of whether they fit or not, and the result is just a great big shoehorn-compressed mess. I'm going to stop here, not because I have nothing more to say but because I could easily spend pages ranting about how terrible this film is and I imagine we all have better things to do. Suffice to say that I'm being generous when I give this big pile of slop 3/10 __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame