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I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
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You know we've all had this happen, shaved or not. I can't be the only one. Those farts that just don't make it all the way and created the "omg gerbil" sensation?
god, what a visual.