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I think you'd be much better off asking HIM
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I cannot simply ask or talk to him about it otherwise I would. Therefore, I turned to this community for their opinions based on 1) one's take on general society rules, which is difficult because generalities always are; 2) one's own experience; 3) and asking to put oneself in the shoes of another and trying on those feelings; 4) or what might be the intention, or even was one.
My intention is to soak up information about boundaries and values in general and personally, and where my own might fall. We are at a crux in this relationship. One with a chasm needing crossed, where we have to adjust to one another and I am looking at that. He is blatantly pushing me to change the way I look at his behavior. He understands that he is pushing my buttons. He is telling me he doesnt care, that this is who he is. He wants me, and he wants me to accept him the way he is. I know this because I have now pushed him to relinquish information that he is so reticent to give. He acknowledged that it is time. Its time for us both to take steps toward more genuine intimacy and I want to, but Im also reluctant. Im examining that reluctance and wondering if it is valid. Also, what are my values and do I even want to change them. So for me its rather important just now even though i may seem frivolous. Sometimes these are just the things the occupy our minds.
Edit: And, another question this brings to mind is Can one even change their value system t adjust to another's? I dont know this either.