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I'd let her know exactly how you feel about the situation. I'd wait until I was able to do so in a calm manner. But honesty is always the best policy in these matters, IMO. Personally I hear some hesitation in your feelings, if so decide exactly how you feel prior to discussing it with her.
I'm not sure I agree you're wife's putting herself "out there" simply because she choose to be out with friends after a certain hour without you. IMO, if your relationship is strong and trusting it shouldn't matter where or when she chooses to go out.
In regards to him and his actions, I'm with Pig. You know it's one thing to be out with friends or co-workers, drinking, letting loose and have some flirting fly back and forth. It's a completely different thing to take it to a level of "hey come out to my car and fuck me." Basically there's limits and this guy doesn't seem to know them. Perhaps he does when he sober but it seems, at least while drinking, he does not.
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