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Old 06-05-2003, 11:41 AM   #26 (permalink)
apeshit
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Location: canada
heres some from an email someone sent me;

THE TEABAGGING The all time classic manoeuvre of
tapping your cock on a chick's forehead whilst she is
sucking on your balls, and uttering the timeless
phrase Who's Your daddy?"

THE HOUDINI Going at it doggy-style until you are just
about to come, then pull out and spit on her back so
she thinks that you have. When she turns around a
blast is unleashed into her face and she is left
shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it.

THE ANGRY DRAGON Immediately after you blow your load
in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make
it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look
like an angry dragon.

CUM GUZZLING SPERM BURPING BITCH The once in a
lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the
back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give
her a large cold bottle of your favourite carbonated
drink, making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head
vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling,
Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your
friends.

DIRTY SANCHEZ A time honoured event in which while
laying the bone doggy-style, you insert your finger
into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it
across her upper lip, leaving a thin sh1t moustache.
This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty
Sanchez.

THE DONKEY PUNCH Banging a girl doggy style and then
moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass
and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow
to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass,
which will constrict the penis and give you a
tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

THE FLAMING AMAZON This one's for all you pyromaniacs
out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when
your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the
nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...
extinguish the flames with your jizz!

THE FLYING CAMEL A personal favourite. As she is lying
on her back and you are hammering her on your knees,
you very carefully move forward and prop yourself
(without using your arms) on your dick while it is
still inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then
proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking
howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy
move.

THE SCREWNICORN When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on
her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a
crazed unicorn.

THE ZOMBIE MASK While getting head from your
favourite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her
you want her to look right up at you with those
"pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then,
just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of
goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This
temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie
effect as she stumbles around the room with arms
outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

THE TROMBONE This is when the female lies on the deck,
face up. You then squat over her face facing her feet.
You lower your arse down so that you hoop rests on her
lips. She then blows up your hoop, feeds her hand
between your legs and wanks you off at the same time.
The TROMBONE!

WOLF BAGGING The beginners manoeuvre of waiting until
your lover (or wife I suppose)is beginning to orgasm,
punch her repeatedly in the stomach. This will induce
vomit and screaming. The vomiting will create
convulsing, which intensifies her orgasm. The punching
and screaming will satisfy your violent rape
fantasies. and reinforce your feelings of superiority.
Chanting 'I'm the Master, I'm the Master' will add to
this feeling. The important thing is your doing it for
HER pleasure, which will strengthen her respect for
you,and, if she's gobby, will increase your chances of
getting a ride from one of her mates
apeshit is offline  
 

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