Black Snake Moan 2/10
This was one of the worst movies I have seen in a long, long time. And I really try hard to avoid bad movies. I try to be as gracious as I can when reviewing these things, but this movie can only be honestly quantified as 'suckass.'
We have:
Christina Ricci - lost probably 25-30 pounds for this movie (and obviously had a boob job) and I'm assuming that her acting talent (which I admired very much in films like
The Ice Storm,
Pecker and
The Opposite of Sex) went with them. In this film, instead of playing a trashy skank with depth and character, she's just playing a trashy skank...with big fake boobs. I am so disappointed. She needs a good spanking...and at least 15 of those pounds back.
Samuel Jackson: playing a homey kind of black man in what looks to be a sharecropper's shack way out on the outskirts of town...oh, and he plays the blues. How novel.
Justin Timberlake: oh man, BAD. Embarrasingly, uh, BAD. Like, I feel like writing a sympathy letter to his mother BAD. What were they thinking? I don't know, but the new Mark Wahlberg, he ain't. He's not even the new
Donnie Wahlberg, for that matter. Best stick to bringing sexyback, Justin, and forget acting...forever.
As for the movie itself, I don't know what the fuck it was trying to say or even what the story was, and not even going to attempt to get into it, 'cause it don't matter none. It just floors me what can be put on film these days and the people who will commit to it. Crazy world.