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I'm surprised how many here are completely unfamiliar with the mindset of a guy who loses his virginity so late, like I did. A bit of naivety and a promiscuous attitude are inevitable.
Look at all the movies out there, "Juno," "Knocked Up," "40 Year Old Virgin," etc. They can make a guy like me develop a complex, which is why "real" took priority over "safe" for me, when it comes to the matter.
I've either always did things that I thought would mean a permanent experience, or else would choose the opposite, which might not be as certain.
I lost all of my friends last summer and have been afraid of returning to the sedentary, solitary, long-hours-spent-online life that I had, but there's this girl, and then one I like at church.
I don't like this girl I got with, but she is the only girl and person I know now. I felt so guilty about it, but I've been too shy to approach this other girl at church. I was torn between deleting this "weekend" girl's number, and concentrate on my crush, but she could easily go for some other guy at church, more handsome and rich, and that would plunge me back to where I was... AND I wouldn't have the other girl's number. So, I got with her, felt really guilty, but also thought that I had done something in the best interest of my "social life," which is why I was so curious if it counted as "all the way." As guilty as I felt about it, I wondered if it even counted.
Does this make more sense now?
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