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Rococo · 04-15-2008, 12:16 AM

For me its about how valuable the relationship is to the significant other. Its hard to believe that someone with 2-3 boyfriends per year will stick around through good times and bad, and values you as much as someone who has had a few long-term relationships that never worked out.

The other thing to think about is not how many but why there were so many. I'd rather know that i'm with someone who went through some sort of shitty phase and slept with a bunch of people rather than a pattern of never maintaining a "boyfriend" for more than 6 months.

I just went through this exact ordeal with a girl that said she slept with 20-30 guys by the age of 26. her longest relationship was a year and a half, she started having sex when she was 14. It was hell. I hated the feeling more than anything else I had ever experienced before. It soon became clear why there were so many ex's. It became clear that all the praise as being the best at everything from sex to intimacy was not as sincere as she made it seem. many of the feelings she had for me she had with other ex's early on in her relationships. I found out over the months that she cheated on them, that she even cheated on me, she lied constantly (caught her after I looked through her facebook and email) i tried to break up several times, she eventually slit her arm one day when I tried to end it because of the lies. I foolishly stuck around even after that and around the 8 month mark, she dropped me like a bag of rocks when she "needed time to reflect".

its been over 3 months since i last communicated with her and it still hurts as much as ever. It feels even worse when I know that i'm just another statistic, someone else is or soon will be hearing all the sweet things that I was made to believe.

by the way, I have only slept with 6 and I'm 30. I'm not holding a double standard here, I tried to make most of my relationships work and for whatever reason they did not. I have never been hurt by any of them like this particular girl, but they never had anything like this girl's baggage.

I wouldn't avoid a relationship knowing that the girl had many partners, but now I will take that as a sign to be very cautious. I would never even remotely want to know anything about the past until i was sure that this girl was someone i could trust.

04-15-2008, 12:16 AM	#47 (permalink)
Rococo Insane	For me its about how valuable the relationship is to the significant other. Its hard to believe that someone with 2-3 boyfriends per year will stick around through good times and bad, and values you as much as someone who has had a few long-term relationships that never worked out. The other thing to think about is not how many but why there were so many. I'd rather know that i'm with someone who went through some sort of shitty phase and slept with a bunch of people rather than a pattern of never maintaining a "boyfriend" for more than 6 months. I just went through this exact ordeal with a girl that said she slept with 20-30 guys by the age of 26. her longest relationship was a year and a half, she started having sex when she was 14. It was hell. I hated the feeling more than anything else I had ever experienced before. It soon became clear why there were so many ex's. It became clear that all the praise as being the best at everything from sex to intimacy was not as sincere as she made it seem. many of the feelings she had for me she had with other ex's early on in her relationships. I found out over the months that she cheated on them, that she even cheated on me, she lied constantly (caught her after I looked through her facebook and email) i tried to break up several times, she eventually slit her arm one day when I tried to end it because of the lies. I foolishly stuck around even after that and around the 8 month mark, she dropped me like a bag of rocks when she "needed time to reflect". its been over 3 months since i last communicated with her and it still hurts as much as ever. It feels even worse when I know that i'm just another statistic, someone else is or soon will be hearing all the sweet things that I was made to believe. by the way, I have only slept with 6 and I'm 30. I'm not holding a double standard here, I tried to make most of my relationships work and for whatever reason they did not. I have never been hurt by any of them like this particular girl, but they never had anything like this girl's baggage. I wouldn't avoid a relationship knowing that the girl had many partners, but now I will take that as a sign to be very cautious. I would never even remotely want to know anything about the past until i was sure that this girl was someone i could trust. Last edited by Rococo; 04-15-2008 at 12:38 AM..