My hair too is curly, though not so thick really. Therefore, I get the frizzies too.
I know what you guys mean when you talk about crunchy hair
Most products that work on my hair have a slightly crunchy after-effect, but as long as you brush it-out when it's almost dry, as has been said, it's fine and the hair keeps it's "shape".
I have taken a long time to perfect making my hair look its "natural" best, without a trip to the hairdresser. Which on me looks like:
I vary my hair routine but here is what I go for:
a great conditioner. My daily favourite is from the brand Aussie and it's called 3 minute miracle. It also smells amazing.
Then you need a curl-shaping cream. I currently go for Curls-Rock Curl Amplifier. This product can end with a little crunch in the hair but if you use it sparingly and blow-dry the hair after application with a diffuser it's perfect.
Any left-over crunch can be taken out by simply runnig fingers lightly through the hair once it's dry. I get no flake from this product.
I also really recommend the Kerastase Elasto-Curl line of products for curly hair, because they left my hair feeling silkier than ever. Rather expensive though.
Hope I have been of help!