uncle phil

DEAR DIARY. DAY ONE

I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my

pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.

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DEAR DIARY. DAY TWO

We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and

dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the

Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

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DEAR DIARY. DAY THREE

I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle boarding and

hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his

table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very

attractive and attentive gentleman.

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DEAR DIARY. DAY FOUR

Went to the ship's casino ... did OK ... won about $80. The Captain

invited me to have the dinner with him in his state room. We had a

luxurious meal completes with caviar and champagne. He asked me To stay the

night but I declined. I told him there was no way I Could be unfaithful to

my husband.

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DEAR DIARY. DAY FIVE

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to

the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and

bought me a couple of drinks.

He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the

night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his

way with me he would sink the ship.

I was appalled.

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DEAR DIARY. DAY SIX

I saved 1600 lives today. Twice.

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.