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Originally Posted by Concertina
I don't think I could ever be as giving as you, angela. I'd have to stop. Don't wanna delve into all my sexual baggage, but if what you described had occured between my husband and myself, and then he tells me it's the one of the best experiences of my life, I doubt I'd be able to be intimate with him for a very long time.
I would find it hard to believe that something that was incredibly painful for me (safe word or no) would give him so much pleasure. I'd have major trust issues. Worth issues.
I'm all about the wayward side of sex. I enjoy a bit of anal play myself, amoung other things. But I've never gotten into the whole pain=pleasure side of things.
That you did it for him, and you'd be willing to do it again speaks volumes of your love and trust for him. You're so much stronger than I could be.
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One thing you would have to understand is that the use of safe words is for both participants. He is trusting that you know when you have reached your limit and yet not abuse the safeword also, that you will tell him honestly. To not use your safeword when it is called for is just as much a misuse of trust as it would be to overuse it. You are trusting that he will stop after using it. In a loving relationship that word comes out and it comes to a halt, with hugs, kisses, apologies and understanding. It is not about abuse, it truly is about trust.
This is another one on the pile marked To Each Their Own. Everyone shows their love in different ways. Each way is special in its own unique way.