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Old 04-03-2008, 11:55 AM   #176 (permalink)
vanblah
Junkie
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by abaya
We can have threads about all of those things... but this one started first, so why not draw it out, like we do with any other thread on some obscure question/topic? Why the need to minimalize it?

Vanblah--yes, I was being facetious with that question. But the point I was trying to make is that I don't quite understand (sincerely) how you think women "should" be responding to that kind of treatment. I mean, for myself, I walked onto that construction site dressed as plain-jane as I could, got objectified in a way that made me sick, and then walked back off and went about with my PhD research, never having to deal with those louts again, and most certainly never having to work in the canteen with them as the Portuguese woman does.

But the fact that this one woman CANNOT walk away from a place like that, or doesn't have the self-awareness of how to do so (while preserving her job/work visa, as an immigrant in this country), and that she has to put up with that shit every single day until it beats all vestige of self-worth out of her... yes, that offends me at a human (not only sororal) level. I happen to be more privileged than her, so for me, it becomes just a minor offense of the type that Will keeps reiterating. But does that mean I should forget her, and all the other women who are stuck in those situations? Does that mean I should not mention her when these conversations come up? Of course not.

The problem is that yes, one cannot apply the experience of one woman to the whole gender... but the sad fact is that these experiences are still ALL too common for the vast majority of women, especially in non-Western countries. So I don't think it's completely out of line to bring up an example like this in a conversation about this topic.
I agree with you on that ... and I think you agree with me that it's not fair to apply her condition to the whole gender.

Like I said, both genders have an equal stake in the education. And I also know that it's going to be harder for men to change their views than it is for women to change theirs.

I'm not saying that women need to stop being offended by it ... because it IS offensive. I'm paraphrasing what MM said ... women (in general) need to really stop putting their self-worth in the hands of men; ie. stop allowing themselves to be objectified. This is not to say that we shouldn't legalize prostitution or make pornography illegal. There is a balance.

The education issue with regard to women I'm talking about for starters is that it's not up to me (as a man) to grant you your self-worth.

I know that it can be tiring ... to hear offensive comments day in and day out ... that's where the education of men comes in. We (men in general) need to learn when the behavior is OK and when it's NOT. That seems to be the main problem.

I think we've got a good start ... but we can't expect change overnight.

And again ... we are talking about one aspect of human male behavior. I can list any number of human female behaviors that are "offensive" at least in my world view. I'm sure you can too. Humans have a LOT to work on.

I also agree with Ustwo and others that we need to lighten up as a whole ...
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