Quote:
|
Originally Posted by vanblah
Exactly ... when I read the OP I took it to mean a very generalized usage of the phrase. This was my own interpretation of the OP ... and is certainly not anyone else's interpretation.
The thread eventually steered toward a specific context.
I don't really think ANYONE would defend the usage of any phrase in an outright derogatory manner ... but the fact is the phrase is not ALWAYS derogatory.
If you are offended by someone you can always ask for an apology. I do it all the time ... well, not ALL the time; that would be a little sanctimonious. Chances are if you have been the recipient of an offending remark it was not the intention of the person to offend you. Of course, this is not ALWAYS the case ... there are jerks out there.
The whole "men can be pigs" argument has been done to death just as much as "women can be bitches." Frankly, I'm tired of it and both arguments do nothing but perpetuate the idea of inequality between the genders.
|
I very rarely ask a stranger for an apology when they have offended me. In fact, I rarely ask for apologies from anyone because I don't really need them. Doesn't do anything for me - I can tell when people are sorry or not.
I have said things to men who make comments on some occasions when I was feeling particularly, uh,
outgoing and the reactions are generally:
1. drive away real fast;
2. silence;
3. or, if they are with other men, laughter and continued 'male bonding.'
Once,
once, I got an apology.
Perhaps guys aren't accustomed to being called on this and they're often embarrassed by it when they do. Which, I think, is responsible for some of the reactions here. To use a scenario that I've gotten from television, lol, maybe this could be compared to women being called on excessive shopping. This kind of behavior is something they feel entitled to and they're not prepared for someone to step in and say 'hey, that's not cool,' because it's embarrassing. And that's fine. Really. I slept really good last night, lol, but maybe they are the ones that need to lighten up a bit, 'cause I felt like the reaction to my initial comment was
overly defensive.
And I agree that the men/women arguments are tiresome. In the entire scheme of things, I love most men. (Although, I have run up against my fair share of men I don't love.) But honestly, I've never become close to men who subscribe to an idea of 'what men do.' Just as I've never subscribed to the idea of 'what women do.' So these types of arguments do very little to answer
my questions about why it goes on. To me the answer I am seeing here is basically the equivalent of 'just because.' And that's fine, but don't expect it to be the magic answer for me, because from my perspective there are alternatives. It is my opinion that this behavior is determined as much by expectations and stereotypes as it is by primal human urges.