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I would say find the place that you and your fiance's kinks meet. If you enjoy being told to lick her ass and she enjoys it when you do, or if she wants you to clean the house and pleasing her is your thing, or if you like to have your nuts kicked and it turns her on, then go for any and all of it. There would otherwise seem to be too many directions to go to give specific answers, you have to work out the specifics on your own. If there is one thing the internet is good for, it is providing information on non-mainstream lifestyle choices, so I would start there.
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"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris
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