abaya

One more time, since it seems like a few of you missed it in my post #43.

I don't care about objectification--IN THE MIND. I don't care about people having sexual THOUGHTS about others. Got it?

I care about when it gets expressed among a group of people as a form of "bonding," because I'd like to believe that men (and women, if such behavior goes on among their groups as well) are better than that. However, I can tell you that I have been standing in front of several large groups of one gender or the other recently--and you'd better believe it's not the women chattering about how they want to "hit" the male members of our research team. Never. But the revolting tone of the comments made by the groups of construction workers, right in front of me--about me and other female members of our research team--it made me fucking sick.

Yes, I am a social scientist, and I recognize the behavioral patterns and causes if I step back and look at them from the outside, simply observing and writing down the patterns of this group of people. I would recognize the same patterns if I had to step back and study a remote culture, for example one that practices female circumcision or sex-selective abortion. I would understand how and why such practices persist in their own context.

BUT, just because I understand how behavior works, does not mean I have to condone that behavior. I know WHY my high school male students used the word "gay" every other word--that did not stop me from nailing them every single time the word was used in my classroom, to the point of issuing detentions if they failed to pay attention to the rules of respectful language in my classroom.

I will not tolerate disrespectful language, and I will not apologize for having standards of how people around me should conduct themselves in terms of being respectful.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran