abaya

I don't know if MM agrees with this or not, but in the discussion I just had about this with my husband, I discovered that I wasn't being clear about one bit: I DON'T have a problem with men and women being sexual beings and feeling attracted to all kinds of people. Yes, that is totally normal and fine and unoffensive. I am not interested in some kind of sexual thought police.

However, what offends me is the social need for expression of these thoughts among groups of men, as some means of achieving "camaraderie"... as if there are no better ways to go about "bonding" with people. Why do such thoughts need to be voiced? Why descend to that level? Why not challenge each other to go UP a level and talk in a respectful way about women? Because no one wants to be the "loser" who spoils everyone's fun by asking, "Would you talk about your daughter like that? Then why are you talking about other women like that?"--and risk being laughed at or accused of having a stick up one's ass? Is it so insufferably uncool to be the man in the group who actually RAISES the standard of the conversation?

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran