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Yeah, I started hearing "I'd like to tap that ass," probably in the late '90s, Northern California-- mostly from surfers and stoners. By the time I got down to Southern California in '99, it was "I'd tap that," and everyone was saying it. "I'd hit that," seemed to pop up around a year or two later, and at first I heard it mostly from the Black community.
I have been known to use variations on "I'd tap that," but I generally don't use "I'd hit that," not because I think there is really a nuance of violence in it (I really don't think so), but just because the phrase somehow doesn't seem to flow with the way I use slang. Interestingly, though, I have heard "I'd hit that," being used by a lot of girls in reference to guys they'd do.
Guys talk like that in part because we really do cherish our immaturity in various ways. But there's a camaraderie in it, and a genuine shared appreciation for women, as well as just enjoyment of being slangy. I don't know that I see any harm in it.
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.
(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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