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I disagree, Cromps. Action is action. Love is love. Confusing the two only causes mischief. Eg. now I have my partner's actions to use to judge her love for me, and mine to judge my love for her. Problematic.
Love = acceptance. There may be actions that result from that, but the actions aren't the love any more than the map is the terrain.
Incidentally, when we say "I love you", mostly we're not actually saying, "I experience, right here in this moment, the experience of love for you." Mostly we're saying, "I organize my life consistent with the CONCEPT of loving you." Mostly our love for people is love in principle. And for the most part, that is acceptable to us as a substitute for the true experience of love.
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