girldetective

Im on vacation last week and this, in sunny Phoenix, Palm Springs, and Sedona. Im baking and taking 8 hour coffee breaks. Its great, Im happy, except for one little twitch.

Im in a movie romance with Tpop and I am in a hurry to get stinky dirty with reality. I dont know that I can stand much more of this quintessential fictional, 2d, Hollywood romance stuff. I mean I love and am taken with really everything and I want it to continue, but it struck me that just yesterday on the phone he asked me what I did for work--3 months after meeting him! Until the end of Feb when he mistakenly said something Tpop was unwilling to talk about reality, at all. Let me reiterate that - AT ALL. Each time I see him I love the romance and leave on Cloud 9, but with sort of a bitter taste. I have become different, wary, and vulnerable waiting for real life. At the same time, since the end of Feb there have been 4 conversations where just a trickle of the real gook has come up and I find I am so vulnerable to it, that I cant stand that either. The reason for this is that when it does come up, Tpop sees it and looks the other way. He will not acknowledge anything other than it did come up but it will not again, and he will make sure of it by saying, "Were not going to talk about that", and he will not. It is very withholding. So, instead of the girl who is looking to keep romance alive, I am the girl looking to burn it to the ground, dig a hole, and bury it at least for the time being.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata