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Originally Posted by savmesom11
We constantly rip on each other and to us it is fun. We would NEVER disrespect each other in public or in front of others who wouldn't understand....that to us is crossing the line.
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Yes, same for us. I mean, we don't constantly rip on each other, but teasing each other lightly is an endearing part of the way we connect and show interest in each other. We know what's joking and what's serious. And if we're having a serious conversation, some kind of conflict or disagreement, we have strict, implicit, mutual rules about what is "okay" to say during such conversations, and what is not. (E.g. we try to avoid being defensive, accusatory, using "you always/never" phrases, raising our voices, calling each other names, and we do try to touch each other gently as much as possible in the heat of the discussion, to keep things relatively cool and to remind ourselves that we're in this together.) We call each other's bullshit and attitudes during those times, to make sure the conversation never escalates into something extreme.
I grew up in a household where my parents had no idea how to communicate, and I never want to repeat their screaming matches, derogatory language towards each other, cutdowns of the worst kind imaginable, throwing things at each other, and stomping out of the house in a rage, EVER in my lifetime. To me, there is a huge difference between teasing/ripping on each other in an appropriate tone and context, and the way my parents "communicated," which was actually a reflection of their horrible relationship that ended after 17 very long years.