Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Arguments and ridicule = relationship success?

Bear Cub · 03-19-2008, 04:51 PM

I'm curious to hear how applicable this may be to others personal experiences.

We'll start with a little history.

For roughly 2 1/2 years, I dated a girl who I fought with CONSTANTLY. We would constantly poke fun at each other, openly express to the general public how much we thought each other were complete idiots, and would argue about everything from what we were doing that night, to what TV show we should have been watching. Then, in a long distance relationship, a breakdown in communication stopped most of the competitive banter, she fell into old drug habits, and the relationship fell apart after she was caught cheating.

Fast forward to the next relationship. There is no doubt in my mind, that girl #2 was chosen by me for being the 180 degree opposite of her predecessor. She was too nice, overly emotional, a total pushover. She would try to agree about EVERYTHING so as not to upset or offend me. When we did fight, it was about issues that actually have a significant affect on the relationship, and as I became increasingly bored with her, things came to an abrupt end.

Now move to present. I have come into a relationship which will be forced to endure 2 years of long distance, but both of us are absolutely thrilled with one another. In addition to being gorgeous, her personality is very similar to girl #1; a bit artsy, a bit strange, and chock full of competitive banter and insults, but without the history of drugs, infidelity, and drama that her predecessor had. She's basically my ideal match, and vice versa.

So all of this leads me to wonder... are these petty arguments, insults, and banter a necessary part of a successful relationship? Are there really people who have traditional enough values and beliefs that they can be happy without this competitive nature rearing its head with everyday conversation? At least in my case, we both enjoy the arguments and insults enough during our everyday conversation, that it takes any stress and tension over the "important" relationship topics away almost entirely. Could this really be one of those important keys to maintaining a happy and successful relationship with your SO?

03-19-2008, 04:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
Bear Cub The Reverend Side Boob Location: Nofe Curolina	Arguments and ridicule = relationship success? I'm curious to hear how applicable this may be to others personal experiences. We'll start with a little history. For roughly 2 1/2 years, I dated a girl who I fought with CONSTANTLY. We would constantly poke fun at each other, openly express to the general public how much we thought each other were complete idiots, and would argue about everything from what we were doing that night, to what TV show we should have been watching. Then, in a long distance relationship, a breakdown in communication stopped most of the competitive banter, she fell into old drug habits, and the relationship fell apart after she was caught cheating. Fast forward to the next relationship. There is no doubt in my mind, that girl #2 was chosen by me for being the 180 degree opposite of her predecessor. She was too nice, overly emotional, a total pushover. She would try to agree about EVERYTHING so as not to upset or offend me. When we did fight, it was about issues that actually have a significant affect on the relationship, and as I became increasingly bored with her, things came to an abrupt end. Now move to present. I have come into a relationship which will be forced to endure 2 years of long distance, but both of us are absolutely thrilled with one another. In addition to being gorgeous, her personality is very similar to girl #1; a bit artsy, a bit strange, and chock full of competitive banter and insults, but without the history of drugs, infidelity, and drama that her predecessor had. She's basically my ideal match, and vice versa. So all of this leads me to wonder... are these petty arguments, insults, and banter a necessary part of a successful relationship? Are there really people who have traditional enough values and beliefs that they can be happy without this competitive nature rearing its head with everyday conversation? At least in my case, we both enjoy the arguments and insults enough during our everyday conversation, that it takes any stress and tension over the "important" relationship topics away almost entirely. Could this really be one of those important keys to maintaining a happy and successful relationship with your SO?