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Originally Posted by Merlocke
Let's see... revenge...
Piss in a cool whip lid - pop it into the freezer. Voila: portable piss disk.
Slip it under his door and onto some carpet - the heat in Mexico will make sure it leaves a fun scratch and sniff present for him.
What else... since we're talking about cool whip anyway - fill an old record cover with cool whip - slide it just under a door, and drop a heavy book on it. You'll be pleasantly surprised with the trajectory and amount of surface area that tends to cover.
One to top it off - if you can buy bugs at a pet store (usually lizard food) - preferably something with wings - say... ladybugs. Pop the bag of them into a freezer for a bit so they stop moving (don't kill them). Now pour them into an open envelope and again with the door. Once they thaw out, they will be PISSED OFF. Naturally this will cause them to fly in and around everything in their vicinity - which includes the bodily orifaces of the person whom you detest oh so very much.
It's not quite turning rivers into blood or summoning locusts, but meh - it's a deity-like revenge on a budget... I know Karma will eventually take its time to arrive, but stress relief is a must  (just don't get caught) |
All good, if I ever feel the need to respond to his BS. Basically he hasn't done anything of much note to me personally. Of all his behavior I'm most concerned with is his ripping off the locals, partly due to the fact I have serious concerns about being associated with him merely by living next to him and being a gringo. I think that's a possible security issue and I need to keep an eye on things. Of course they ripped him off and left me alone, so? Also his hostilities with his wife are concerning, but a lot of that sounded like many domestic disputes- tit for tat. To me it was just noise until she stated he hit her and he didn't deny it. If he assaults her I won't be able to simply tune that out.
On revenge, he owns a convertible car. He used to drive around with the top down and leave it in his driveway with the top down. My understanding is he stopped doing his because the locals were throwing trash in it. An upholster friend of mine informs me that fresh milk poured onto the carpeted floorboards of a vehicle will slowly rot and by the time it's noticed the car is totaled. The smell will never be able to be removed. According to him this is something not covered by most insurance companies. My dive knife and a half gallon of milk could be one childish way to deal with him.
Just things to keep plugged into the back of my mind. I really think the best way to handle this is to let nature take it's course. I have little doubt it's just a matter of time and someone he's ripped off is going to inflict some gringo justice on him. According to many people this is his third house down here, each time he's moved due to people trashing his house. One such incident involved some type of arson. Several of my friends here tell me if such a thing starts happening next door I should load my dogs into my truck and drive to another beach for a couple hours. I already have the beach pick out.